Dear Olivia: Week 18

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Dear Olivia,

How are we doing this week, you ask? Well, let’s just say that if you google “four month old baby sleep,” the first page is made up almost entirely of results like “surviving the four month sleep regression” and “the DREADED four month sleep regression!!” or the much kinder, much more misleading, “wakeful four month olds.”

Yes, “wakeful” is a word to describe you, just as “drowsy” is a word to describe me.

I hope you know I’m not blaming you. I know this is a perfectly normal thing to happen at this age, as normal as it can be for you to suddenly decide you don’t need to sleep at all and can get by on 20-minute naps during the day.

You’re also up every two hours at night, and I just…can’t.

Everyone who reads these letters is now laughing at me, basking in the warm, smug glow of schadenfreude. Because when your baby isn’t sleeping well, nothing is quite as obnoxious as a baby who is, even though you know logically, somewhere deep in the haze of sleep deprivation, that that other baby isn’t sleeping well at you or to spite you.

The fact of the matter remains that you were sleeping like a dream baby, and suddenly you are not, and I’m having a very hard time dealing with it.

At least you’re pretty happy when you’re awake. That’s excellent, considering it feels like that’s about 90% of the time. So even though we’re spending a lot of time together when you really should be sleeping, it’s hard to be frustrated when you flash that wide, happy grin at me.

I’d just like to see a little less grinning at 3 a.m., ok?

Love always,
Mama

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