All my hopes as a mother have been realized: you, too, are a crazy cat lady.
You adore the cats and think they are, hands down, the funniest beings living in our house.
Like a schoolyard crush, however, your love is unrequited. In fact, not only do the cats not return your adoration; you scare the crap out of them.
This is not a new thing. From the first day we brought you home, Roo and Thumper have been extremely suspicious of you. I don’t think you were a particularly threatening newborn, but they crept around the bouncer where you dozed peacefully as if you might leap out and grab them at any moment.
That threat is a little more real now that you are not only aware of the cats, but have enough control over your limbs to reach out and grab a tail or an ear in passing.
Usually Thumper and Roo are smart enough to stay away from you. If they’re occupying the bedroom when we go in so you can nurse, they’ll put up with you burbling at them for a few short minutes before they slink away to find somewhere else to nap undisturbed.
Beckham is another story. He warmed up to you quite quickly, and we had to shut him out of our room for the first few months of your life just to make sure he didn’t try to cuddle up next to you in your co-sleeper. The older you got, he grew more and more used to you, until we reached a tipping point.
Now that you can bother him right back, he doesn’t want anything to do with you. But it always takes his tiny little brain a little while to remember this. He’ll park his ample self beside you while you’re chilling out on your playmat, only to leap up in complete shock a moment later when you bop him on the head with Sophie the Giraffe.
Life is one continuous surprise for Mr. Beckham.
You love him, though. You watch his every move, have one-sided conversations with him, and laugh at him when he’s doing absolutely nothing.
All three cats will get up and walk out of your reach rather than swat at you, but we know their patience will eventually wear thin. I’m sure you will get scratched at some point, but right now we’re very careful to supervise all your interactions with your furry brothers and have started trying to teach you “gentle hands.”
Right now that still looks an awful lot like “grab tail and pull,” but I know you’ll get there.
In the meantime, you’ll just have to crush on Mr. Beckham from afar.
Your crazy cat lady Mama