The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Moms

It’s safe to say this weekend didn’t go as planned.

Here’s how it all went down in my head:

Natalie would sleep well on Friday night, and we’d all wake up more or less well-rested on Saturday. My friends would come over for brunch, and we’d feast on French toast and omelets and fruit salad. Will and I would spend the rest of the day wrapping presents and checking things off our pre-Christmas to-do list. Sunday would be much the same: a lazy, relaxing morning followed by a productive afternoon.

Oh, YOU. You and your silly attempts at planning a weekend.

Saturday morning dawned…well, no, it was still dark when we got up, and painfully early, as Natalie slept like we’d dressed her in a hair shirt instead of fleece footie pjs for bed. After a restless night spent taking turns rocking her back to sleep before finally giving up at 4:45am, we would’ve been thrilled to sleep til dawn.

Nope.

Will took the final shift, as I had the added pleasure of waking up with the buzz of a headache in my temple that mutated into a full-blown migraine, leaving me huddled on the bathroom floor pressing my forehead onto the cool touch of the tub.

Migraines: all the fun of the worst hangover of your life, without any of the fun the night before.

I fervently hoped the headache would evaporate and I’d be fine to continue with my brunch plans, but that was definitely not the case. Instead of enjoying an omelet with friends, I sat my pale, shaky self down to a feast of a single piece of dry toast.

And then it started to snow.

One downside of being a stay-at-home mom is that I no longer have access to my Early Storm Warning System, aka My Coworkers. I don’t watch the news and Natalie is woefully uninformed about the world at large (you’d think she doesn’t even care about being an informed citizen), so I was surprised and dismayed to watch the first flakes start drifting down.

I was even more dismayed the next morning, when our driveway had frozen into a thick sheet of ice. This is our first winter as homeowners, so it truly hadn’t occurred to us to get any salt. We’ve been well and truly spoiled to live in apartment complexes the last several years where we barely had to lift a finger for snow removal, and we’ve never been responsible for salting anything other than our mashed potatoes.

We drove to three stores, none of which had any salt in stock. Even Amazon was sold out. Today Natalie and I are housebound because I don’t dare step outside with her in my arms for fear that we won’t be able to make it the seven feet to the car without taking a nasty spill.

But let’s back up to yesterday, so I can tell you about Natalie’s naps.

Actually, this gif sums it up pretty well. Naps?

Aint-Nobody-Got-Time-for-That

Lord have mercy, this child will not sleep, and when she does, she won’t stay asleep. Growth spurt? Wonder Week? Kidnapped by aliens and replaced with a robot that has no off-switch?

WHO KNOWS.

Frantic google searches show definitively that it is either Totally Normal or Completely My Fault. She will definitely grow out of it, except maybe she won’t and we need to intervene and sleep train her.

Very helpful. Thanks for that.

And so I am learning to be more flexible, more patient, and better able to function on a few hours of sleep at a time. The one constant in my life is that I never have any idea how our days will go (and all you parents reading this are thinking, YOU ARE JUST REALIZING THIS NOW?).

I am also realizing why babies are so cute.

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It’s the only reason any of us survive into adulthood.

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