This week you turned two months old. Two whole months!
The difference between the you of today and the you of one month ago is astounding. You can smile, coo and squawk at things that make you happy, and have completely busted out of all your 0-3 month size clothing. (At your 2-month checkup, you weighed in at a whopping 14 lbs, 13 ounces – 99th percentile!). You clearly recognize your dad and me — or , to be perfectly blunt, you recognize that your dad is not me.
Let me preface this by saying that I love you to the moon and back. Everyone says that being a parent changes everything, but I was not prepared to feel like I got hit by the mack truck of love, smushed and scattered all over the highway by the sheer force of my love for you.
That being said, it would be super to be able to leave the house by myself once in a while.
Over the past few weeks, I’ve started running again. I’m only out of the house for thirty minutes at a time, and each time I make sure that you are well fed, dry, and either sleepy or out cold before I leave you in your dad’s thoroughly capable hands. And almost every time, I get a panicked phone call saying YOU NEED TO COME HOME NOW because you, my dear, have gone completely insane.
Without fail, you’ve calmed down by the time I get home. Sometimes, you’re already asleep. But I’m going to level with you, baby girl – you’re starting to make your dad afraid to be alone with you. He also loves you to pieces and it hurts his feelings when I leave him with a smiling, babbling, happy baby that suddenly and inexplicably morphs into a raging gremlin the minute I walk out the door.
This, too, shall pass. Everyone says it’s a phase, and soon enough will come a time when I pick you up and you writhe and scream for your dad, and he’ll be the only one who can comfort you.
But in the meantime, there’s a whole wide world out there that I would like to experience, in small doses, sans baby. I promise you – there’s no reason to freak out. I will always, always, always, come back to you.
Love always and forever, even when you’re being a little gremlin,